Yes, I admit it: I'm a WoW racist. I can't help it, there are certain races that I can't stand. Which means that I won't create any new toons under those races, nor will I have much respect for people who play them. OK, I am very biased here and I apologize in advance if I offend anyone. Just remember: what happens in Azeroth stays in Azeroth. Now don't be so coy, I'm sure you have a race or two that you abhor, coughgnomescough.
So let me get started. What follows is a list of all races and my feelings for each, in male and female flavors. Though I have started a few female classes, I gave up on them. I won't create another female character again. Though they are pleasant to look at, I'm a guy, dammit, and I gotta play a male character.
Note: Most of my characters and my main WoW activity is on the Alliance side. Though it may seem that I'm biased towards Alliance races, you'll see that it's not the case.
Male/Female: they are the bread-and-butter race of the Alliance and perhaps the most popular race. I favor humans heavily. I have a human Warlock, DK, Paladin and Rogue. Males, all of them.
Males: male dwarves are a hoot. A very funny and jolly race, I enjoy them a lot. My Hunter main is a dwarf. I'm considering a dwarf Shaman in Cataclysm. When I think of dwarves I think of beer, jokes and plenty of laughter.
Females: to tell the truth, female dwarves are on the ugly side. Or rather, homely. Yeah, that's the word: homely. I don't know what their men see in them. Maybe they're good in the sack... or something. Or perhaps they brew good beer... But I digress. It seems that the only dwarf females I ever see (seldom at that) are by a large margin priests. You know what they say, "she may be ugly but at least she has a big heart".
Males: I despise them. I truly do. Every time I see one I imagine a 12-yr old playing it. I just can't get over their looks.
Females: they're sexy. In fact I tried a NE once but I started a female so I could escape the ugliness of the males. A Rogue she was. I deleted her long ago.
Males: if there's something I despise more than NE males, it must be male gnomes. I hate the little buggers with a passion. I almost wish I was a tauren so I could squish a few under my hooves. Unfortunately my bank alt is a gnome and that's because I started him a long time ago as a Rogue and he gained a few levels so I find him useful for his Sprint.
Females: they're cute, especially the ones with the pink pinktails. I think male dwarves and female gnomes should get together and have children.
Males: they're ok, pretty tough looking. I'm not big on the tail and face tentacles though. I've never played one but I wish I could. Unfortunately there aren't any classes left that I could use for a draenei.
Females: hawt! Even the tail looks sexy on them.
Note: I have a few scattered Horde characters on a few servers but I've pretty much abandoned them after I decided to consolidate all my chars on a single server/faction.
Males: the original bad boys of Warcraft, I really dig orcs. In fact my highest level Horde character is an Orc Shaman of level 67. I love the green-skinned bastards, they look as tough as a brick shit house (green, of course).
Females: call me a perv but I have a certain attraction for them. They look a bit like green she-devils and who doesn't like a she-devil? I'm not sure about French-kissing with those teeth but we'll probably figure something out when we get to it.
Males: they look tough as shit. Toughest race in fact. I started a tauren Warrior once and brought him to 18. I like them very much.
Females: they look cute the way a heifer does. They give me the impression of kindness and softness. Would I get with one? Hmm... maybe, why not.
Males: they look crazy and demented but I like them. There's something very heavy-metal about them, including their signature dance.
Females: they're ok, a bit under males in the looks department. I started a female undead Warlock once and leveled her to about 7 and then ended up using her as a bank alt.
Males: voodoo mon! I love their accent and their gait but I've never played one.
Females: nothing to write home about.
Males: I have conflicted feelings about them. On the one hand they look very effeminate. On the other, they are arrogant and pretty awesome-looking. At any rate, they look much better than Night Elves. Depending on the haircut you can make them look more manly. Haven't played one yet but if I were to, I would make a Paladin.
Females: mmm, hot, yeah baby! I started a Mage once but she was abandoned at level 4.
Males: damn cool! Can't wait to start a Mage! Nuff' said.
Females: from what I've seen they look pretty cute. More like cats than wolves but that's ok. I won't play a female anyway but I will enjoy seeing them around.
Males: quirky. Better than gnomes, IMO. Quite ugly on the other hand. I doubt I'll ever play one.
Females: ugly. I will definitely stay away from them.
So that's it for my run-down of WoW races. Now just admit it: you are a WoW racist after all! Which races do you guys favor/dislike? I'd love to hear from you on the subject.
Patch 1.0.5 commentary
4 years ago