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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

WoW racism

Yes, I admit it: I'm a WoW racist. I can't help it, there are certain races that I can't stand. Which means that I won't create any new toons under those races, nor will I have much respect for people who play them. OK, I am very biased here and I apologize in advance if I offend anyone. Just remember: what happens in Azeroth stays in Azeroth. Now don't be so coy, I'm sure you have a race or two that you abhor, coughgnomescough.

So let me get started. What follows is a list of all races and my feelings for each, in male and female flavors. Though I have started a few female classes, I gave up on them. I won't create another female character again. Though they are pleasant to look at, I'm a guy, dammit, and I gotta play a male character.

Alliance
Note: Most of my characters and my main WoW activity is on the Alliance side. Though it may seem that I'm biased towards Alliance races, you'll see that it's not the case.

Humans
Male/Female: they are the bread-and-butter race of the Alliance and perhaps the most popular race. I favor humans heavily. I have a human Warlock, DK, Paladin and Rogue. Males, all of them.

Dwarves
Males: male dwarves are a hoot. A very funny and jolly race, I enjoy them a lot. My Hunter main is a dwarf. I'm considering a dwarf Shaman in Cataclysm. When I think of dwarves I think of beer, jokes and plenty of laughter.
Females: to tell the truth, female dwarves are on the ugly side. Or rather, homely. Yeah, that's the word: homely. I don't know what their men see in them. Maybe they're good in the sack... or something. Or perhaps they brew good beer... But I digress. It seems that the only dwarf females I ever see (seldom at that) are by a large margin priests. You know what they say, "she may be ugly but at least she has a big heart".

Night Elves
Males: I despise them. I truly do. Every time I see one I imagine a 12-yr old playing it. I just can't get over their looks.
Females: they're sexy. In fact I tried a NE once but I started a female so I could escape the ugliness of the males. A Rogue she was. I deleted her long ago.

Gnomes
Males: if there's something I despise more than NE males, it must be male gnomes. I hate the little buggers with a passion. I almost wish I was a tauren so I could squish a few under my hooves. Unfortunately my bank alt is a gnome and that's because I started him a long time ago as a Rogue and he gained a few levels so I find him useful for his Sprint.
Females: they're cute, especially the ones with the pink pinktails. I think male dwarves and female gnomes should get together and have children.

Draenei
Males: they're ok, pretty tough looking. I'm not big on the tail and face tentacles though. I've never played one but I wish I could. Unfortunately there aren't any classes left that I could use for a draenei.
Females: hawt! Even the tail looks sexy on them.

Horde
Note: I have a few scattered Horde characters on a few servers but I've pretty much abandoned them after I decided to consolidate all my chars on a single server/faction.

Orcs
Males: the original bad boys of Warcraft, I really dig orcs. In fact my highest level Horde character is an Orc Shaman of level 67. I love the green-skinned bastards, they look as tough as a brick shit house (green, of course).
Females: call me a perv but I have a certain attraction for them. They look a bit like green she-devils and who doesn't like a she-devil? I'm not sure about French-kissing with those teeth but we'll probably figure something out when we get to it.

Tauren
Males: they look tough as shit. Toughest race in fact. I started a tauren Warrior once and brought him to 18. I like them very much.
Females: they look cute the way a heifer does. They give me the impression of kindness and softness. Would I get with one? Hmm... maybe, why not.

Undead
Males: they look crazy and demented but I like them. There's something very heavy-metal about them, including their signature dance.
Females: they're ok, a bit under males in the looks department. I started a female undead Warlock once and leveled her to about 7 and then ended up using her as a bank alt.

Trolls
Males: voodoo mon! I love their accent and their gait but I've never played one.
Females: nothing to write home about.

Blood Elves
Males: I have conflicted feelings about them. On the one hand they look very effeminate. On the other, they are arrogant and pretty awesome-looking. At any rate, they look much better than Night Elves. Depending on the haircut you can make them look more manly. Haven't played one yet but if I were to, I would make a Paladin.
Females: mmm, hot, yeah baby! I started a Mage once but she was abandoned at level 4.

Cataclysm races

Worgen
Males: damn cool! Can't wait to start a Mage! Nuff' said.
Females: from what I've seen they look pretty cute. More like cats than wolves but that's ok. I won't play a female anyway but I will enjoy seeing them around.

Goblins
Males: quirky. Better than gnomes, IMO. Quite ugly on the other hand. I doubt I'll ever play one.
Females: ugly. I will definitely stay away from them.

So that's it for my run-down of WoW races. Now just admit it: you are a WoW racist after all! Which races do you guys favor/dislike? I'd love to hear from you on the subject.

17 comments:

roguedubb said...

Nothing but Gnomes for me. They have the highest HP per cubic inch ratio of any race.

Kriegtrommel said...

For the Alliance, I hate gnomes with a passion. I will go out of my way to kill them.

As for my faction...

Save the Horde, kill a blood elf.

Gyldenfeax said...

I think Blizzard jumped the shark when they gave the horde Belfs and jumped two when they allowed them to be paladins. My human paladin (vanilla, yes, but maybe french vanilla) thoroughly enjoys seeing the male belf's death animation.

Strangely enough, I would consider changing factions if it was possible to convert to a troll paladin.

Skaut said...

Maybe it's because I'm a female, but I have almost opposite feelings on many of the races!

I like Dwarf females, maybe because I sorta look like one(I'm 4foot11!). I have a 80 Paladin and 76 Hunter that are female Dwarves.

And about the only ones I really can't stand seeing are male Draenei and female Blood Elves.

Also, as a female, I actually tend to make more male characters-mainly because I don't want guys bugging me *thinking* that I might be a 'chick'. My very first character was a female Nelf hunter, and I abandoned her when I was bugged every time I went into town. And I've rolled a female Belf-once-and deleted her at level 5 when someone whispered me all sorts of nasty things!

If I had to say any was "hot", definitely male Blood Elves! I don't give mine that stupid anime haircut. And I have lots of them!

Darth Solo said...

@roguedubb haha if you look at it this way...

@Gyldenfeax maybe someday my friend. We can only hope. I wouldn't be surprised if at one point Blizzard allowed all race-class combinations.

@Kriegtrommel I kinda agree, BEs don't really seem to mesh well with Horde.

@Skaut hope I haven't offended you :D Another reason why I don't roll female characters is because of the harassing. Funny thing is that I *would* give my BE an anime haircut. Ah well, different strokes for different folks.

Anonymous said...

LMFAO

Great summery! Strangely i am with you on most of the classes, except the NE's... for some reason the 12 year old in (my 30+ body) just wont go away :)

I believe gnomes should be used as cushions for my Draenei Paladin!

Bowcephus said...

I'm fairly ambivalent to Alliance races though I have to admit I find female dwarves as unattractive as everyone else does. When I (very briefly) played Alliance I rolled only dwarf and gnome characters. I play a human irl, I don't need to be one in Azeroth.

I'm a big male Tauren fan, I have 4 (druid warrior shaman DK). If I were to start over I would probably have made my druid female though, the leather tier armor sets look better on the females. Nothing in the game says "bad ass" more than T8/9/10 plate shoulders on a male though.

I dislike trolls entirely. The hunched over posture the males have irritates me and the females are just ugly.

Orc males are also very cool, my main is an Orc Hunter. Orc females just look unfinished, like Blizz went "oh crap we need females; ok just take the troll females and make them shorter and greener."

Undead males are ok, I like the spiky hairdo as well. Undead females are meh. Why don't more look like Sylvanas?

Blood Elf males are way too pretty-boy for me. I can't handle them until they get to full-face helmet levels. Blood elf females are fine, of course, but only for cloth classes imho.

Goblins ftw. Female goblin rogue for me, the day Cataclysm drops. Why female? Because "cute ugly" trumps "ugly ugly" any day.

Jerry said...

Hmmm... Interesting comments and post. For myself, I play Draenei and Blood Elf females almost exclusively. Since I primarily play Horde, it's the BELF version of any class they can take. My main is a BELF 80 Rogue and I love her dearly. I have an 80 Paladin Draenei, but haven't touched her in a long time.

I couldn't stand Humans, either male of female, and Gnomes of any stripe get under my skin. I agree about Night Elf toons being 12 year olds. It just always seems that way to me, though I have a few few of them myself (and I'm 41).

When Cataclysm comes out I'm going to avoid the overcrowed new starter zones and roll a BELF Warrior! I'll get to the Worgen/Goblin after everyone is done competing for the same quest targets.

Anonymous said...

Gnomes are the nerds of Azeroth. If you hate them, there is a strong possiblity you actually hate yourself. Please seek professional help before it's too late!

Darth Solo said...

All these comments prove that the majority of people playing WoW hate a race or another. That's cool.

@last Anon I actually love myself man! I like the gnome females, but the males... yuck. Sorry, there's something about their faces and their bodies that I don't like one bit.

Anonymous said...

Of course I was just joking about the hating your self thing :). It seems you just hate their looks, but from a lore standpoint there is a lot to like (http://www.wowwiki.com/Gnome)

Edgar said...

I don't think there is a race I won't play. Probably the only thing that keeps me from really going full fledged with an Orc or Troll is that their starting area is just terrible, and it seems like everything is 30 miles from everything else. And that's before I ever even hit the Barrens. Even though I'm a guy my main is a female Draenei, cause if I'm gonna look at something for a long time I want to enjoy it. Never once been harassed since I started playing.

Ivan said...

When I first played WoW I was on the side of the alliance. For me, the only classes I would play were Humans and dwarves. The Night Elves just looked to gangly for me and the gnomes are characters that females would play. Or so I thought (since my friend that got me to play was a female and she played a gnome mage).

Then the Dranei came out and that was my race. I like the big, kick your butt, races. Like the Tauren.

A few months ago, I started playing WoW again this time on the Horde side. I mainly have Orcs and Taurens. On the Horde side, I can't see myself playing the following races:

Trolls: Way too skinny. If Blizzard upgrades the looks of the Trolls, I hope they make them like the body builder types you see every once in a while. Then I would for sure play like a troll.

Undead: Too rock and roll for me. I'm more of a hip hop, reggae guy (Caribbean here). Yeah, I know, beef up the trolls and I would play one!

Blood Elves: I so want to play one, but I see the stigma that is associated with them. I see both version of the elves being played by kids. So for now I turn my back on them.

For the two upcoming races, I would play either one. I can't wait to play a goblin hunter with engineering. And Death Knight Worgen or Warriors could be nice!

Darth Solo said...

@Edgar that's how many guys justify it. I thought so too but it's not worth the trouble. Don't you get harassed over playing a female character?

@Ivan yeah trolls need a makeover. I believe that in Alpha stage they looked even worse.

Edgar said...

Ok, after a little evaluation, I do believe I am racist after all. I just deleted my only dwarf toon (hunter), and don't really see myself ever making any dwarves, be it male or female. I guess I just don't like the proportions, and even prefer gnomes to them to be honest. I think my biggest problems with dwarves is that they all look exactly the same to me, and yeah the females...homely is a good word, the race may as well be asexual.

I've never once been harassed playing a female character, nobody has ever treated me differently...well maybe they've been nicer than usual but I always make sure to let people know I'm a guy.

w4rl0rdx said...

Personally, I think Worgen are going to be awesome. I don't know if they'll be good enough to make me switch from horde to alliance but we'll see.

Cant wait for Cata though. Should be crazy, Im VERY excited to see deathwing!

Darth Solo said...

@Edgar I once wanted to start a female character and thought I could name her Imadude or Imaguy. Alas, those names were taken.

@w4rl0rdx how about goblins? Personally I think worgen are way cooler than goblins so I'm glad I'm focused on Alliance. I might start a goblin though just to see the starting experience.